Not gonna lie I say this to the beat of ‘What’s wrong with being confident’ by Demi Lovato, if you don’t know that song, listen here, cause you should know it!
This is an #AskReka edition blog post. You’re more than welcome to sliidddee into my DMs, just like this young lady.
Ps. Women only – trust me, if you’re a man you may get your head bit off.
Thanks
– mgmt
DMer writes:
Reka –
Girl I need someone to talk to, you’ve been helping me stay positive! My ex has been hitting me up “I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve what I did, I miss you” blah blah blah right.. well let me tell you about my growth after two weeks have past without him. I moved in with my mom, I’m swearing off guys (for now) and I’m working on my mental health (reading) also getting that book you talked about on your live by Devon Franklin. I just got promoted at work which is such a boost of confidence in itself. What I’m having trouble with, especially last night, I felt lonely as hell. As sad as that sounds! After a long shift at work my feet hurt, I just crawled in bed and wished I was being cuddled. I have a feeling that was because of my broken heart with my ex.. now I don’t like that feeling, do you know of anything that has helped you with this same particular feeling?
I respond:
Hey girl –
So happy you reached out to me girl. Happy to help. So first I want to say GOOD JOB! Leave him where he stands, he showed you who HE is (not right for you) and YOU need to continue to BELIEVE him (Maya A). So look in the mirror and say YOU GO GIRL. You’re doing so well, so throw yourself a dance party. It could be just you and your favorite jam. Also, *high 5* on swerving guys. YOU are not ready to be in another relationship anyway. As you said you’re working on your mental health and a guy will derail that (You better be a reader, I see you!!!!!!!!).
Now that you’re working on your mental health, start asking yourself. Who am I? What type of life do I want to create? The things you don’t like about you, change it, if you can, if you can’t, accept it. The things you like, feed that, highlight the F out of it! 🙂
Now as for being lonely. I wish I could tell you that it goes away. It doesn’t (not all the way) but it does get easier. Cry when you need to. I did. Accept the moment. It will pass. DO not text a guy to feed that.
Have you ever watched your friends (on IG) with their families and kids having a good time, on the beach, (and your stuck in a snow globe) and they are just out having fun and you’re at home reminding Netflix that ‘you’re still watching’… oh cause THATssssssssssss me. I do have a few friends who are married and/or have kids. So unfortunately for me (GREAT parents for the kids) that means Reka, isn’t their #1 priority. I TOTALLY get that. HOWEVER for me it gives me a twidge of LONELY — but the busier I am the less I — 1. watch IG or 2. care because I’M BUSY and off creating the life I want.
I have HUGE goals but I also have a ‘to do’ list every day and I challenge myself to get it done (one thing I don’t like about myself is that I’m lazy – so I had to make a game of it for me) EVERY DAY. What’s your ‘to do’ list girl? Make a list (seriously) and cross it off, every day. Heck even put stickers by what you’ve accomplished. Also reward yourself with something that you really want (if it fits in your budget) if you conquered something huge in a month. YOU need to get into the habit of celebrating YOU. The grass is not always greener. Grass is truly ONLY greener where you water it. I’ve also had my married friends say — ‘wish I could have lived the single life like you a little more before I got married or had kids’ — doesn’t mean they hate their husband or kids. It’s just a feeling and it’s fleeting… as is that ‘lonely’ feeling. I hope this helps *hug*
Ps. The life you want to create MAY change especially because you are young BUT remember this rule: it ONLY changes if YOU want it to. Not for someone else and/or just to be in a relationship!
So I ask you, yes you reading, hi! Lonely? What’s wrong with that? Why is that such a negative? Would you rather be lonely or miserable with someone laying on your couch and you’re in your room crying?
I stay busy so I don’t have to think about me being ‘alone’, I for one don’t feel lonely anymore. I’ve gotten over that hump but I get it. It’s always nice to cuddle but I have pillows *teehee* and I keep myself BUSY!
Listen I’m up at 430a (on my best day) and I’m off by 1p. That time is FILLED with my show stuff, executing my show and then planning the next days show. I have a rule, that I’m not necessarily allowed to check social media, unless 1. it has to do with my show or 2. I’m done with my work!
After 1p, I fill my day with walking Champ (my pit-bull), reading, cooking, blogging, answering messages/emails from you, school work, staying connected with my friends and that usually fills up 6 hours. So now we’re at 7p on a week day and DAMN it’s dang near time for bed but I also try to squeeze in a show of mine! Right now I’m re-watching all the Marvel Universe movies to catch up before April 26th (END GAME!!!!). I stay busy — in stride to create the life I want. I don’t want to be where I am now (in life) when the clock strikes midnight for 2020. Therefore, I have NO time to think “I’m lonely” – my whole day consist of me going “damn girl I’m proud of you”.
Where do you want to be at Midnight on Jan. 1, 2020? Getting there starts NOW!
If you continue to work on you darling *Mariah voice* you’ll also be able to say, one day, ‘what’s wrong with being lonely’ – in your Demi Lavoto voice of course!! *wink*