On this Vday week, let’s talk ‘what exactly is love’…


Oh Valentine’s Day has love on everyone’s mind….

In ways it’s simple but also complicated! I’ll start with this, can you replace the word love in the following paragraph with your name and his (the man you’re dating or will date) name?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

– 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 


Yes I said your name because you need to learn how to show love as well. Hint: it doesn’t = giving a man all your man, financing him or whatever you want to call it.


You see, my abusive ex nor the $10k boyfriend’s names could be replaced with the word love in the above paragraph. Sadly I didn’t see it. I didn’t know exactly what love was either until now (and I’m still crafting it). Not enough conversations were had with me when I was young. Now that I’m older and wiser, I know so much now and I wholeheartedly believe what Maya Angelou said “when you learn teach”.


This is why I started Single You…

I do see a need in the Christian body. In society period. ⁣

Church’s always have parenting groups.

Single parenting groups.

Marriage groups.

Children’s groups.

Feed the homeless ministry. Great!⁣

However, there is NO focus on living a single life with purpose. If you’re alive you have purpose period.⁣

I heard a pastor say “Everyone is worried about the why of Kobe’s death but not worried about why they are still alive”.

That’s deep. ⁣

If you’re still here then there is a reason. Married or not. A parent or not. ⁣

Singleness is not a season to endure until you’re married.

You’re worthy regardless of your relationship status. ⁣

You have a purpose regardless of your relationship status. ⁣

The church and society is so focused on pushing this relationship goal (society) marriage “goal” (Church). ⁣

All because God said “be fruitful and multiply” + “it’s not good for man to be alone”.

Now when you don’t study the word for yourself (old me) you won’t see that “fruitful” means the fruits of the spirit. There are 9. ⁣

Do you know them?⁣

You have to execute those before you can multiply them. ⁣

Not being alone isn’t solely about a romantic partner. ⁣

Are you cultivating true friendships? ⁣Are you cultivating yourself? Who are you?

God didn’t have Paul write “it’s better to be single” for nothing. There is a reason.⁣

I wish some classes taught on singleness when I was 15 and up. Your life steams from the foundation of YOU. Not a man.⁣

So figuring that out first BEFORE anything else matters MORE than anything else.⁣

God didn’t tell us to “guard our heart” for nothing but what does that mean?

How do you do that? ⁣

A class on that would have been nice when I was 15 and up. ⁣

I’m telling you God has been revealing so much to me since June of 2017. I remember when I was with my abusive-ex and God said so LOUD “I’ll use this story babygirl”.

When I was with my $10k boyfriend the devil and Taylor Swift asked me “was it worth it”. It wasn’t.

I don’t know if marriage and kids is for me or not. But what I do know is I stopped trying to force anything. I’m gonna let God handle that. ⁣

The blueprint of life STARTS in your single season and I bet there at a lot of married and/or divorced people who wish they knew that BEFORE they got married. ⁣

If you’re single know that this season is a blessing. You have so many options! Boss up and change your life girl…⁣

I got baptized (again) because I wanted God to know before everyone else that I’m on his train now. I dated the worldly way and it didn’t work for me, so it would be insane for me not to go the way of the lord now! I’ve always been a believer, I was baptized at like a week old but there were so many things I didn’t know. ⁣

God has granted me so much grace and in ways another chance with PLENTY of options in the 2nd half and 3rd half of my life! ⁣

If I’m gonna be a leader I need to know how to lead and this time I’m executing from the best! (Jesus/God/The Holy Spirit). ⁣

I’m praying for your singleness girl!⁣

If you need guidance in your single life.

I’m here to have deeper conversations with you than society will. ⁣

You want to know how to date, how to level up your life and how to figure you out? You’re going to need to have deep conversations. None of this surface stuff.



If you’re looking for a community of single women to talk to and relate to, let me know! My email is open to you:

email: [email protected]



Let me know and we’ll get the phone girl!



Ps. Baby Reka being baptized at 4 months old `?



The Single Girls Life Coach


Can you do me a favor? First, If you made it this far, you’re the REAL MVP! If you like what you read and feel someone else you know could use some inspiration, please share this blog post. The twitter and FB share option is below. It’s FREE to share and it’ll help in spreading the energy of ‘Singleness Is Not A Punishment’ xo

Lastly, You can find me on IG here and facebook here – let’s connect 🙂

Share this Post: