Oh, so 35 is old?

Ask Reka

On June 29th – I will turn 35. Where does the time go?

I got asked by a young lady:  

I would love to hear how you think about age and why it didn’t scare you? 

I’ll get to my answer below but first let me encourage you a bit…

I guess I never got that memo: a few weeks ago I posted on IG “are you scared of getting older” – I got a lot of ‘no’s’ ‘I’ve conquered that fear’ – which of course made me happy but it was the ‘YES girl’ comments I got that made me so sad. As my Dad always said ‘if you keep living you’ll get older’, so really what’s the alternative? I think (and I could be wrong about your fear, if you have one) that age is feared because people aren’t doing what they want to really do in life. Life happened, you had kids, you dated the wrong guy, you didn’t do that thing you always wanted to do and now… NOW you feel like time is running out. To that I will say then: no day like the present to start on those goals, dreams, etc., why is it at a certain age we stop dreaming? We say “well this is my life, I’m 42 now I must accept it”. Who says you do? YOU? It has been said: “You’ve gotta find a way to get out of your own way, so you can progress in life” – Steve Carlton

Now to her question and my answer…

Young lady: I’m 23 and already scared. I think because of how society place age and women and expectation. Especially coming from a middle eastern family where marriages is usually happens around my age, which deep down I still feel like a kid, and I see people always placing standards on me of how I should live my life. I know Reka you would say ignore people’s opinions which I try to do but sometimes it gets to me and I start to question why I am so behind compared to my fellow family members or friends. I know that everyone has their own paths and life is not the same for everyone but just thinking about age and growing up is scary sometimes. I would love to hear how you think about age and why it didn’t scare you?

Me: You’re right ? I would say this. But let me also say, I am not perfect and I do have “fearful thoughts” but then I immediately think on what I actually want out of life. Remember I am 35 (June 29) and to society I am supposed to be married, divorced and 3 kids by now. Instead I have a wonderful career, savings, a mortgage, college degree, great friends, can do what I want and I am HAPPY with that. But they don’t have awards for that. So I celebrate myself. I also have an extremely close relationship with God and we are reminded over and over to not be fearful: [ 2 Timothy 1:7 – For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline ]… self discipline being my FAVORITE word for this year. Do YOU have daily goals? Weekly goals? Get that to do list and conquer it. You will be so PROUD of you. You will begin to REALLY not care what people think. My goal when I was 25, was to be out of debt and be able to travel by 30. Guess what I did at 30? Bought a house. Discipline on my BEST days is my middle name. Again I am not perfect and some days I just sit on my couch and do nothing. Then I’m mad at me but then I get right back on the horse. You’re so young and have your whole life ahead of you. Start dreaming about what you want for YOU now. I’m living the dream I had for me at 25. Get real clear on that (and it may change as you grow and that too is OK). Self love is on the other side of self discipline baby girl! There is so much I could say but I’ll finish here and pray it makes sense to you ?? [ Galatians 6:4-5
4) Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. 5) For we are each responsible for our own conduct ].

I will end with this:

I am in love with Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit but I ain’t trying to meet them visually any time soon. I praise God for every single second, day, minute and birthday. If you’re not happy to be turning older you need to figure out why ???

… so are you afraid of getting old?


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