To my single – no kid having girls like ME: Society isn’t gonna celebrate you. There is NO “you’re single showers” but what is stopping YOU from celebrating YOURself?
I just had to say that so no one thinks I’m complaining on this blog. I live a very blessed and rich (not talking finances) life. I’ve done and will continue to do a lot of things other women my age haven’t and won’t do. So, I am blessed, but the way society is set up, man…
So, whenever you’re paying attention to the world around you – it’s tough to watch people your age continue to get parties – celebrations – joy spewed all over them because – well they had a baby and another baby and another baby oh and they got married, maybe twice. But the celebrations you had stopped once you graduated from college.
Literally every. single. holiday/tradition is about celebrating people who are in a relationship and/or people who have or had kids.
So I understand why the 16-26-36 year old girl wants a baby so badly. She sees – the only women who get gifts all the time are the women who have babies and/or get married.
Never a reason to have a baby or a husband but society is unknowingly (or knowingly) programming girls to think that way. It takes a strong mind to actually step aside and say “even if I don’t get celebrated, I’m going to choose a different path.” And if we’re honest, most people don’t have a strong mind, especially not at 16. A strong mind comes from your environment, your education, your experiences and a 1/2 cup of personal accountability.
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while and following me on social you know that my mission is to be a light for the women coming up behind me and to show them that a different choice in life as a woman is OK – it’s YOU at the end of the day that has to be happy with you. You can check a different box. I want to show women a life full of celebrations and happiness even if I never have a kid or a husband. My life still matters and if NO ONE celebrates that, that’s ok.
I applied for my business license, got it and then opened a business account (bank) and on that day I had a HUGE donut! That was a worthy celebration haha
The following is a conversation I had with my older cousin who is married and has kids…
Me: I was writing a blog/Social media post about “the last time my family was all together to celebrate me” – (not a knock on the family – it just is what it is). But it was May 2006 – College graduation – which was the end of celebrations for me. For single, no kid having women (and men) that’s where it ends. So I’m coming up with a list of what I’ve done to celebrate me!
So, on purpose I’ve cultivated a good group of girlfriends and we are in the swing of celebrating each other. Puerto Rico for my bday (2018) was also for my bff Lori, who’s bday is June 24. We’ve got each other’s back – so know, I feel loved by my friends/family. My purpose is for the ones who look at the women getting all these showers when they are not and they go “oh so I have to have a baby or get married to be celebrated” (yes I’ve had those thoughts) – then they rush out to do it just to feel “loved”. Singleness is not a punishment and that’s my mission to change the narrative.
Lanaya: I think movies and media play a part in that. Think about the movies we watch? Do they Celebrate singles? No. Girls trip type movies… are still about “finding” someone…but really finding and enjoying… CELEBRATING…you? NOPE.
My cousin Lanaya is SO right. Most movies have women looking for love, sad they don’t have a baby and/or being rescued by a man.
Which is why I LOVED the move ‘Miss Bala’ (like seriously obsessed with Gina Rodriguez and how she PLAYED that role).
It was so great seeing her SAVE herself by any-means-necessary. I just like a bad ass woman who bosses up and saves herself. The icing was that she didn’t fall in love with this boy (who was FINE) who was definitely trying to make her fall for him. Most women would have felt sorry for him and it would have been a love story.
Save yourself lady – there isn’t a man out there that can make you happier than you! All facts.
We all have to be happy with where we are in life. At the end of the day YOU are where you are because of the choices you have made. Coveting someone else’s life will actually make your life worse. How you gonna be happy wishing you were someone else? Or had someone in your life? Logically, you know that can’t happen. You get one life… and this IS IT! What are you gonna do with the rest of your time on earth girl? Miserable wanting a baby and a husband? I hope not.
Things and people don’t make you happy, YOU do. That happiness train comes from within, PERIOD.
Plus read this if you’re not married and don’t have kids. It’ll be our little secret 😉
Pps. What’s wrong with being lonely?
Can you do me a favor? First, If you made it this far, you’re the REAL MVP! If you like what you read and feel someone else you know could use some inspiration, place share this blog post. The twitter and FB share option is below. It’s FREE to share and it’ll help in spreading the energy of ‘Singleness is not a punishment’ xo
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My “Singleness is not a punishment” workshop helps you navigate through your life, using your past to help you pinpoint why you keep getting into dysfunctional relationships. We will use your present to discover who you really are and your future self to help you set goals.
I don’t know whom I’m supposed to be a light for
I don’t know whom I’m supposed to be a guide for
But if it’s you girl… I’m here
I Am a life coach
I Am a motivational speaker
If my blog isn’t enough for you and you want guidance. I got you!
I help women discover what self-awareness/self-love actually looks like, so that they can see they are worthy regardless of their relationship status.
Sis, your life doesn’t start once you get the man
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